A few questions for stutterers.
Posted Wednesday, February 4th 2009
I got these questions from Kyle, the admin of the Stuttering is Cool group on Facebook. I thought I might as well publish them here.
1) Who are you, how old are you and where are you from?
I’m a 24 year old Software Engineer from Skopje, Macedonia. I have a BSc in Computer Science and an MSc in Software Engineering & Telecommunications. I’m currently interested in software product management and interface development.
2) When did you first noticed you’re stutter?
I guess the earliest memory of me stuttering I have is from when I was about 5 years old.
3) How did your family respond to it?
My family has always been very supportive. They’ve helped me deal with my stuttering and always supported my efforts to better my speech.
4) How did you handle school with your fluency? How did your teachers view it? Did it affect your schooling/grades?
In primary school it was an issue. Being a scrawny, skinny kid that stutters I was bullied and harassed. Teachers (at least here in Macedonia) didn’t really care enough to give any attention to it.
In high school and during my university studies it was a whole new world. People were respectful and understanding, and mostly patient. Some of my professors in high school (during the first few days/weeks, while they still didn’t know me or the condition that I have) were a bit impatient and thus some awkward scenes happened, but otherwise, there were no problems. A lecturer even allowed me to have written instead of oral exams.
5) Have you ever received therapy for your stuttering? If yes, do you believe it helped?
Yes, I have received therapy. A few years ago I went to see a speech therapist with which I had regular (twice a week) sessions. We covered breathing techniques, general issues, reading out loud, etc. I believe that it certainly helped me understand (if not by what the therapist told me, but by what I grasped over time) my condition.
6) Does anyone in your family stutter?
No.
7) How has your speech affected your life?
I used to hold my stuttering as a real crutch. I felt inadequate, unworthy to speak and generally I was very introvert. However, over time, thanks to the understanding of my family, my friends and lecturers I was able to transform my “disability” into something of my own. I no longer see my stuttering as a “disability” but rather as something that uniquely describes me. I won’t even go as far as to call it a flaw. It might be, but ultimately, it is something that is a part of me. It’s a part of what makes me whole and defines me as a person. I would not be the same, have the same outlooks on life, the same compassion if it were not for my stuttering.
Interestingly enough, it was Scatman John’s music that also helped me deal with my stuttering quite a bit.
I never let my stuttering get in the way of my academic past, and I’m really thankful to my university lecturers for having the patience.
8) How has it affected you in communicating in relationships, whether it be professional (job, career) or personal (relationships, dating).
While younger, I was very held back and shy. But nowadays I have no issues when it comes to communication. I still feel a bit nervous and feel a certain degree of tension when I’m about to speak with a higher authority figure or in front of a group of people, but I’ve managed to control my stuttering to a good degree. When it comes to relationships, I believe that when one looks at stuttering as an attributive characteristic instead of a defining one, it’s no different than having blond hair instead of brown, or blue eyes instead of black. What I’m trying to say is that, it doesn’t really matter, and my girlfriend has been very supportive over the past few years that we’ve been together. She’s very understanding and has made it a point to always be patient with me, and understand what it means when I start stuttering. Thank you babe!
9) What advice would you give to other people who stutter?
Only we stutterers really understand what stuttering really is. Don’t let anyone tell you what the cause is. People will try to push the idea of fast talking, fast breathing or something in that vein being the cause of stuttering, but we know that it isn’t. Understand that your stuttering is not a disability, but a characteristic. It’s an attribute. It’s not a crutch, it’s part of you. Accept it as such and you will not only feel much more at ease with yourself, but others will also feel at ease around you. Make fun of it yourself and allow those closest to you to make fun of it as well. It’s very liberating.
Only when you accept your stuttering as something that is normal and as something that is truly your own, will you be able to control it.
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A friend just asked me if there are any guidelines to talking to people that stutter - especially with finishing the words or sentences of people that stutter.
