A friend just asked me if there are any guidelines to talking to people that stutter - especially with finishing the words or sentences of people that stutter.
Now, some of you know that I stutter. Not much, but I do. It used to be worse when I was younger and I was very conscientious about it. I’ve taken quite a bit of flack about it from kids when I was younger and it affected me in a number of ways. Nowadays I’ve accepted it as a part of me, and it doesn’t bother me. However, I suppose I am qualified to answer this question and I’ll try to give it my best.
Now then..
1. Don’t finish my words or my sentences - It’s very simple, just don’t do it. I hate it when people do it, especially people that I see for the first time. It makes me feel inadequate, as if I’m not worthy to talk, and as if the person has the right to speak in my name. Plus, the person finishing my sentence will most likely get it wrong.
2. Have patience with me. Some times I’ll get too excited or I’ll try to say something in a hurry, and I’ll get stuck on repeat. It’s slightly embarrassing for me, so let me say it my own way.
3. As a given rule, I almost always think before I talk, and choose words that I know are easier to say, or there is a lesser chance for me to get stuck. Don’t think I don’t know the word. I select my words very carefully.
4. DO NOT tell me to breathe slowly, slow down, relax or anything in that vein. Stuttering is not caused exclusively by speaking fast, breathing fast, simply being nervous or any other definition that anyone has told you. Sometimes it’s a single thing, sometimes it’s a combination of things, sometimes it’s neither of these things. By telling me what to do, you assume that you know more about this condition than me, and let me be very clear - you do not.
5. Each stutterer has a different set of words (or sounds) that he/she will get stuck on. I’ve come to realize that I get stuck more often on words that begin with the letter L or P.
When you notice someone with a stutter, be patient. A quick note for teachers - if you have a student that stutters, they will be extremely grateful if you offer them the chance to substitute an oral exam with a written one, if possible. I had a single professor that did this for me in high school, and I will be eternally grateful.
Now, I should be very clear - I have accepted my stuttering as a fact of my life. It’s not something I’m embarrassed by, but it does sometime make me feel uneasy, as I said, especially around people that I don’t know. Around my friends it’s different - my friends are very close to me, and I will even take jokes about it - because simply, they’re not laughing at me, they’re laughing with me. I make jokes on my own account too, and it feels good - it’s what most likely helped me get through it. Sometimes they will take it a bit too far, but I don’t hold it against them.
If any stutterers stumble here looking for help, I’ve found that deep breathing, reading out loud, recording and listening to my own voice to identify trouble spots and a positive outlook have helped me the most. Should anyone need further advice, please, get in touch..
And if anyone actually reads this, do you stutter? Do you know anyone that does? What are your experiences?
EDIT: Just because Scatman John was awesome!
I have to say that Scatman John’s music helped me deal with my stutter. For those of you that don’t know, the sounds that he made, he made by stuttering. He took his condition and turn it into an art form. It showed me that for every downside there’s an upside.
Recently, I more often than not, catch myself drifting away to somewhere, thinking about what was and what could be.
I’m thinking about the past quite a lot. About my days spent in Greece. I honestly miss those times. Yeah, there were hard times, pressure from uni obligations, self-inflicted nervousness and sometimes general melancholy, but overall, those were great times. I met some genuinely good, generous and caring people (shout out to Dim, Jovan & Anton), people that are my friends to this day, people I know that I would do anything for, and I’m sure they’d do anything for me.
I grew up over those few years.. I learned to take care of myself, do my own chores, clean up after myself and most importantly, I learned how to give myself a much needed reality check sometimes.
Yet, somehow, lately, I constantly feel like everything is waaay over my head. I guess it’s just a very strange.. or rather, difficult period. Alongside pressure and looming deadlines at work, I’m also dealing with a number of issues-of-the-personal-kind, and at times feel like I’m losing my grip, my self control. I find myself being a lot louder, a lot more volatile than I should be. And I don’t like myself when I become like that..
I’m just checking out my archives here, and I seem to have a few posts that I’ve never published. I used to write here quite often, and it helped me vent my stress and my anxiety. The posts I haven’t published are just that, posts that I’ve started to write, but never got to publish. They’re there, a small reminder of my.. I don’t know.. complacence.
Anyway.. Important things now! I’ve got a new car! And E and I are going on a road trip tomorrow! I can’t wait!
Also, a quick tip to random_monkey. He’s provided my background tune for the past couple of days.. Check out Rain Today, and give the rest of his stuff a listen too..
A friend just asked me if there are any guidelines to talking to people that stutter - especially with finishing the words or sentences of people that stutter.
